Does one have “control” in uncontrollable situations?

When a natural disaster destroys someone’s house or a burglar comes into a resident’s house and takes some prized possessions, human nature proves that we will react with rage, anger, and may even feel sorry for ourselves. It is impossible to control the events in your life and control how and why events occur in life. However, it is possible to control the reaction one may have to the event. Verbal abuse has the widest range of emotions one may have. It is very easy to respond in a negative way if someone calls you dumb, boring or any negative remark. Furthermore, it is also easy to ignore these common “name-calling” annotations and not let them become bothersome. The stoics feel that one should not let anything take control of your life and that the choice is ultimately up to the individual in the end.

Take the example of an unknown person hitting your car and driving away leaving the damage and the damage costs up to the victim. I, as many, believe that when someone does this to your hard-earned possessions you have no choice in how you react. The victim will always feel sad or have anger built up inside them when they see their beloved car get damaged. Although the degree of feeling may differ from case to case the feelings are prevalent and will be something you must learn to live with. It is not something you have the choice in; it is simple human nature that forces us to feel this way. If people did not have any feelings for negative events and did not care when anything bad happens the World, as we know it, would not be the same and would not function. The biggest thing is how much it affects the mood of that person. Basically, the victim will always have feelings on the matter, but the results of how much those feelings affect life is up to the individual.

On the other side of the coin come verbal and written happenings. Attacks that do not do any damage or injury are completely up to the person that has to handle these attacks. It goes back to elementary school when teachers would say that if you can laugh at yourself, life will be much easier. One cannot let simple words take control of their life, as the Stoics believe. They can control the feelings that they have when people insult them or say negative remarks. This is different than if someone they knew personally would die or be seriously injured, because the affects are more external and will affect the day to day lives they live. Feelings will always be there when something happens to loved ones because they will miss them, but an insult is always internal and it is a struggle inside one’s own brain.

The debate of whether or not we can control our feelings is, in this case, relative. It depends on if the struggle occurs inside or outside. If you were to break your arm then the result would be pain and a struggle to function fully in everyday life. The person with the broken arm will feel sad that they are missing out on everything. On the other hand, if something happens in your thoughts then you have control of it. For example, if ones favorite sports team loses then the victim has control of their thoughts on the matter. All in all, one does not always have control on their emotions, but they do have control of how they react and find solace in the objective.